In a world where external achievements often define success, it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that the true essence of fulfillment lies within—mastering our inner game. This concept, deeply rooted in understanding and developing our inner selves, is pivotal not only for personal contentment but also for professional excellence.
“We are like ripples on the ocean, believing we are solitary entities, having lost sight of our inseparability from the infinite, timeless ocean from which all peace, joy, love, and wisdom spring.” This metaphor captures the essence of mindfulness—interconnected and boundless, yet often obscured by the illusion of individuality crafted by our minds. This illusion of individuality is the basis for our egoic struggle to defend, judge, and feel superior. Yes, we are individuals in terms of people, personalities, genders, races, professions, etc. But as beings, I believe there is a connection, and that connecting force is also the source of what cannot be found in the mind—peace, joy, love, wisdom, and compassion.
Our identities, shaped by experiences, conditioning, memories, and societal labels, bind us to this conceptual self—an illusion that perpetuates suffering. This suffering arises when this conceptual self, existing only in our minds, is challenged or threatened. Take me, for example—when I make a mistake in parenting or my work, it can feel like my entire identity is threatened. “Oh my god, if I’m not the father, CFO, or coach I imagine myself to be, then what/who am I?” Recognizing this illusion of self is the first step towards freedom. True liberation is found in recognizing the layers of self-made concepts, revealing the essence of our being, untainted by egoic thinking.
Have you noticed how much of our lives are directed by an incessant drive to satisfy the ego—a pursuit that leads us astray with the promise of happiness through material gains, status, and external validation? This chase, however, is futile. We all know this, but most of us have not had enough of it to look for a different source of happiness. The freedom of peace, wisdom, joy, and real love (love that does not turn to hate in an instant) eludes the grasp of our egoic thinking, for they do not reside in the mind.
I suggest a journey to uncovering what is ‘real’—inner peace, wisdom, joy, real love, and fulfillment—begins with clarity of what is not real, which can be defined as anything subjective. Our thoughts, influenced by past conditioning and external judgments, often feel like reality. Yes, thoughts and emotions are real to us, but is what they are telling us real? I suggest not. True reality lies beyond this egoic cloud, in the stillness and clarity within.
Presence is the gateway to inner peace and wisdom. Can we immerse ourselves in the present, perceiving without judgment, without adding the commentary of the mind? This practice of intense, alert awareness opens us to the beauty of now, unfiltered and genuine.
“Stress is the state of being here but wanting to be there.”
The problem is once we get there, we are once again unhappy being here, and the cycle continues until we decide to stop it. Do you find yourself incessantly planning and forecasting a defense against future uncertainties? As an attempt to improve your ability to deal with uncertain future challenges by constantly worrying about them. Do we really think this is helpful? In fact, this constant rumination about some projected future challenge only wears us down, depletes energy, causes stress that has a physical adverse impact on the body, robs us of sleep, distracts us from our relationships, and shuts off access to our best solutions which are found in inner wisdom, not accessible during such mental turmoil.
The antidote is presence. By anchoring ourselves in the present moment, we embrace life as it unfolds, liberating ourselves from the chains of past regrets and future worries. One trick is to give yourself ample future planning time. Thinking about how you can proceed forward with intentionality in the direction you want to go. Do it daily if you need to, and be present when you are doing it so that the ego will not rob you of your access to your inner wisdom.
I hope this article invites you to explore the depths of your inner game. It is a call to action, not just to reflect but to engage actively with these concepts, to practice presence, to question the narratives of the ego, and to discover the unshakable joy and peace within. As we navigate this path, we find that our professional endeavors, relationships, and personal achievements are enriched and aligned with our true selves. The inner game, once unlocked, empowers us to live and lead with authenticity, resilience, and wisdom.